Obese Sleeping Boy and Drunk Rude Boy Go To The Movies.

Do I have "If you are rude, inconsiderate, and obnoxious then please come sit right next to me" tattooed on my forehead?

Let me explain. Mr. Johnson and I had a wonderful idea to go to the movies today. We've had quite the whirlwind last few days: his mother arriving from Charlotte on Thursday, La Fondue for his birthday Friday, a holiday dinner party at a friend's Saturday, driving to Sacramento to see my mom's church choir perform Sunday, my parents arriving at our house Monday for Christmas Eve dinner at Merit Vegetarian - everyone loved it! - and a two-hour Christmas light lookin' drive, and then hosting Christmas dinner for nine at our house (I got tired just typing all that out). So we were ready for a little alone time. We went and worked out first (after all the booze and sugar of the past five days, I had to get my butt up and do something), and then went to the movie theater to see Juno.

We got there fairly early but all the middle seats were already taken except for the last row - which we never sit in, but decided to try out.

Bad idea.

Apparently if you are 16 and ghetto and want to sneak beer into the theater, you sit in the last row. Which is exactly what two gentlemen did.

The loud talking started during the previews, which really annoyed me because I love previews. But then the obese one (in no means do I say this in a derogatory way. Just trying to paint a clear picture here, folks) of the two fell asleep like ten minutes into the movie, which I thought was promising. I was wrong. The rude one did not fall asleep and talked, laughed at inappropriate times, sent texts, threw popcorn at some friends in the row in front, and drank his beer throughout. Why go to a movie if you are going to talk and send text messages throughout? I don't get that. Can someone please explain that to me?

And Mr. Johnson brought another great point. Of all the movies that are out right now, why would a 16 year-old ghetto ass kid go to see Juno???? I can't even begin to wrap my head around that one, but whatever.

We've had some good experience ignoring annoying people the last few weeks due to an extremely inconsiderate neighbor (that's a WHOLE other story), so I am happy to say that after letting the blood boil for a few minutes, we were able to ignore Rude Drunk Boy and enjoy the movie, which I do recommend. It made me laugh. It made me cry. I loved it.

At the end, Obese Sleeping Boy woke up and asked Rude Drunk Boy to recap the movie. I am not kidding. To which Rude Drunk Boy said, "It was good, a 'quarky' (not a typo) kind of movie".

Wha- HUH?

This is the future of America, folks.