Glucola and Truffles.

I had my 1-Hour glucose test this morning, for gestational diabetes (a standard test for pregnant women between 25 and 28 weeks). I knew the glucola was not going to be tasty -- I can't even drink a Coke because it is too sugary for me -- so this was a bit of a challenge. I had fruit punch flavor, which actually wasn't too bad, as long as I drank it fast (you have to drink it within 5 minutes anyway), and didn't think about it.

I drank it in the car on my way to the lab, so still had half an hour to kill before they could draw blood. I was playing solitaire on my iPhone when the nausea hit me. I was a little unprepared for that. Trip warned me this morning that it would probably make me feel sick, but I didn't give it much thought. Ugh... sitting there for half an hour trying not to get sick was no fun at all.

So they called me exactly 30 minutes later to draw blood. I had a younger technician, who was very sweet and asked me if I had a fear of needles. I told her no, I just felt a little queasy. "Oh, that's why you look a little pale." No, it's December and I'm half British. I am pale. Thanks for pointing that out.

While she was checking both my arms and deciding on a vein, there was an elderly couple in the chair next to me. The wife was the one giving blood, and she was clearly not happy about it. She literally had both her hands over her eyes as her husband wheeled her in, and it took two technicians to calm her down. As soon as they pricked her she yelled, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, NOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW," at the top of her lungs. No joke. Talk about an uncomfortable moment -- for her, and the other five of us sitting there about to go through the same thing.

Okay, focus on the technician.... She's sweet, she knows what she's doing. After checking each arm twice, she decided on the arm and vein she was going to attack, pricked me, and started filling the vials. As I was intently focused on her, I noticed she had a bump under her lap coat.

ME: "Oh, I just noticed you're pregnant, too. Congratulations."

TECHNICIAN: "Thanks!"

ME: "How far along are you?"

TECHNICIAN: "I'm seven months."

ME: "Oh wow, you look great!"

TECHNICIAN: "Thanks! Ya, I noticed how much bigger you are than me, and your not even six months yet, right? I mean, you're all belly. But it's so big already."

Wow, she is full of compliments, isn't she? Okay, first off, "it" is my son, so back off woman. Second, I'm proud of my big beautiful belly. It proves to all those haters that you can give birth to a healthy baby without meat. He's obviously doing just fine with tofu and beans, thank you very much.

So after calling Tripple and yelling at him for impregnating me with a freak of nature (kidding, of course. I just had to tell him that story), I went home, made myself a yogurt and flaxseed smoothie, followed by some truffles. To which my son thanked me by apparently doing cartwheels.

I Always Knew There Was A Big Underground Drag Kitty Scene.

Cat people. We are a rare breed aren't we.

We not only love our cats, we adore them. We even slightly worship them.

The other night, I looked at my cat, sleeping on his little cat couch, and shed a tear. If only he knew how much I loved him! (Of course hormones might have played a slight role in this moment.)

Well, my sister has shown me that there are some that take the adoration of their kitties to a whole new level.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you...

Kitty Wigs

Kitty freakin' wigs.

I did a Google search and there is an entire Kitty Wig group on Flickr. Of course there is.

Okay, give me "depressed millionairess."

Now give me "I have no time for you, you stupid stupid human!" 

Okay, I admit, I once put a little tiny Panthers helmet on Lemieux to take a picture to send to my mother-in-law. But a wig? I just don't think I can subject my boys to that. I mean, if they're into drag, I am a loving mother and will love and support them no matter what. But I'm not going to be the reason why they turn to a life of sin. (I've read I Am Not Myself These Days! I know what those girls are up to! Okay, I loved that book, but whatever.)

It doesn't matter anyways -- they're both more purple kinda gals.

Although Lemieux would rock that pink one like nobody's business.

Hmmmm... $50... 

This was not "Photohsop"-ed

Oh, I hope he didn't pay too much for this ad.
And I'm not even going to comment on the overall artistic quality...

Did "Steve" Tell You that Per Chance?

Trip and I were riding the VTA - my first (and last) time on the bus! - taking one of his past students to the Tech Museum. In the bus they had a lovely sign announcing the Employees of the Year for 2007. There was something particularly amusing about one of the winners and I wanted to take a picture, but Trip wouldn't let me. So I will describe:

[picture of employee]
And underneath it said:
Steven "Steve" Maloon

Really?

Not "Boom Boom" or "Big Paulie" or "Lucky" or "Skip" or "A-Rod".

Nope."Steve".

Priceless.

I found God on a Billboard on the 101.

On my way into work today I saw this billboard:

Okay, I know you can't read it. As I said, I was on my way into work. Which means I was driving. And trying to take a picture with my iPhone. Not usually a recipe for successful photoshoots.

I will transcribe:

The first Physical Evidence

For a Message From

GOD

to the World

www.MathMiracle.com

Now if you asked me where I would hear about "the First" physical evidence of God, I would definitely have said on a billboard on 101 in Redwood City. Duh. Newsweek, Scientific American, the Pope - heck no. It's all about the billboard, baby.

And I'm so not wanting to admit it, but I had to go online and check out the site, even though they would be achieving their goal of driving traffic to it (and possibly brainwashing me). Good news is no brainwashing. Bad news - I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about, nor what this "proof" is that they mention throughout the site (whoever "they" are). All I could figure out is apparently the Qur'an is full of initials and numbers that somehow mathematically proves that there is a God. Got it? Exactly.

I also want to note that the site does not shed any light as to why they have what appears to be a satellite dish on their billboard. In fact, there wasn't ANY reference to the satellite dish, transmitting signals, cryptic Godly messages, XM radio, or three months free of DirecTV at all. I guess that was the most science-y clipart?

I don't know about you, but I'm not so sure this whole "math miracle" thing is legit. I will wait for more billboards and let you all know...

If I Wasn't Married...

I'd be all over this.

I think I found my "special someone". Her name is Butterfly, and she is "looking for networking with others to heal the earth."

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go thank Tripple that I am no longer a single creative.

Ummmm Okay....

This was in my inbox today:

Da-huh? What? I'm so confused.

I love how its the WORLD'S largest collection of Star Trek "artifacts".

Is His Term Over YET?

Doesn't this make you proud to be an American.

And speaking of Bush (who got us in this mess), how cool is this! 350 days, people! (Seems like FOREVER).

Only 350 More Days.

Doesn't this make you proud to be an American.

Speaking of Bush's term being over, how cool is this?!?

Why I love Japanese People So Much.

This is FANTASTIC.

I love how serious they are. They mean business.

And you have to watch all the way until the end.



You know that second guy is badass.